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Nov 21, 2006

TYLER: Blueprint Concepts Preview (Routines VS No Routines)

PART I:

To answer a few questions here all at once --

The reason I stopped using routines was because I lived in a kind of paranoia that one day the routines (and their format) would be played out. It bothered me because I felt like I was this new, cool guy -- but it could all end at some point because my tactics & techniques became too common-place.

About 2 years ago (when Neil started getting serious about his book) I decided as an experiment to stop using routines altogether. This was HARD for me. So hard, in fact, that I began to question what was wrong with my head to be so attached to them.

The other RSD guys did the same as well, and they took to it faster than I did -- probably because they hadn't invested as much time in building in autopilot responses for everything as I had, and because they had stronger "inner game" so to speak.

So, two years later, I actually feel kind of weird when I use an opinion opener. I see the girls answering my question and I think to myself "OMG, I just made up this story and they're answering it as if it was real!"

That said, this stuff still works as well as it always did. I've had a lot of success with it and can never discount it. It's just that in cities like London, NYC, and LA you're going to have people saying "Are you one of those pickup guys?!" every so often.

These places, particularly London but really everywhere, are SWARMING with pickup newbies. Attraction is not a choice, and you can easily get around this. But at the same time, my view is why not just avoid the issue in the first place?

There's no comparison to where I am now than to where I was 2 years ago. The routines becoming more popular (and thus turning me off of them) was the best thing that ever happened to me.

But at the same time, that's also because I spent 2 years focusing on every non-verbal aspect of this stuff -- the mental aspects, the dominance, the frame control, etc etc.. I mean, I REALLY focused -- the reason I spent 2 years to write the blueprint wasn't because it takes me that long to write a few hundred pages, but because I was literally researching what this stuff was all about.

One of the reasons I was turned off of an entirely unstructured approach 2 years ago was because there wasn't anyone who could actually do it very well. Not to diss anyone, but by my standards everyone who promoted a "natural" style game pretty much didn't make the grade.

Usually they were into it for some ethical reason or something, like "It's just more honest" or "You're really connecting with the girl." To me that stuff is like -- OK cool, ummm, I just want to get my foot in the door with this girl here, and I want to do what works.

These days I have a "structured approach to a non-structured game" so to speak. Rather than just saying "Just be alpha bro," I can spend hours explaining what this stuff means from top to bottom, in a way that can compute to a logical, computer nerd type guy like myself.

I do what I do now because it WORKS. It's better than what we used to do and it's more easily transferable.

Ultimately, I have no ethical or personal attachment to "routines" or "no routines." The whole debate is moot to me.

Some people take to a routines based approach better. Some take to a non-routines based approach. It's like how some people are good at math, others at English.

But I think it's cool that we have both options at this point, and that the publicity of this stuff is no longer an issue.


Tyler


PART II:

I don't think in terms of canned versus natural. The word "Hello" is a routine -- your routine for introducing yourself to people.

A sort of problem with RSD in terms of marketing is that with other companies you can say "They teach canned game" or "They teach natural game" or "They teach cocky and funny" or "They teach NLP", etc etc..

With RSD you can't do that. It's like "Umm, they teach RSD. Uhh, social dynamics, like, how to be social..."

One of the laws of propaganda is to create a basic message and repeat it over and over. Eg: If I say "I'm the best" for long enough, it will be **** tested at first, but eventually everyone will come to believe it.

In the case of RSD, we don't have something like that. Even with the blueprint, there isn't as much of a clear of a message as there should be.

The thing with me is that I'm 26 years old. Almost 27. I've been doing RSD since I was 22. I feel like I'm JUST starting to have put my time in here to be on a level where I DESERVE to have my own philosophy.

Once you have your own philosophy or model, the downside is that you create blindspots to everything that lies outside of it. You create new complexities and begin to focus on anything that REINFORCES your views, but ignore anything that defies your principles.

Like say that you think a 10 needs a certain type of game -- every time you use your type of game and it works you say "See, she needed x,y,z..." But if you have success without it, or if you don't have success at all, you don't notice it.

Whenever I hang out with guys from other companies it blows my mind the blindspots they have, and rather than getting arrogant about it, it prompts me to constantly re-examine my own assumptions.

I've been hesistant to create a model because I've wanted to stay as open-minded as possible. My primary goal with RSD is to improve MY OWN skills, so anything that results in my skills going down is useless to me (even if it results in more commercial success).

Again, I'm 26 years old. If I'm to be successful, my main success will come in my fourties (if I live that long). What's important now is for me to continually build my base of experience, intellect, creativity, speaking skills, writing skills, and mastery over my emotions.

If I HAD to give RSD a one word philosophy, the word I would use is "TRANSFORMATION" -- as in DEEP, IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE.

To me, that's what RSD is ultimately all about. I think anything we teach could be brought back to that.

After the blueprint, I plan to release a more commercial, easily understandable book. I suppose I'll hammer away at that point.


Tyler


PART III:

I try to avoid situational openers because I believe it can come across as "pacing" to the girl, which can seem too eager for rapport.

What's interesting about situational pacing is that women can have autopilot responses towards it, because they've gotten it so many times from guys.

That said, I still do use pacing when it's 100% spontaneous and so it comes across tight. And of course, even if I get a poor initial reaction I can always turn it around.

Most often I prefer to walk up and say the first thing that comes into my mind. A great exercise for this is to go out with a friend and say the first word that comes into your mind, and then he has to immediately walk up and open with it. Then he does the same to you. Go back and forth.

This is a DIFFERENT FORMAT of opener, in the sense that with an opinion opener you get an initial great response, whereas with this you get 50% great response and 50% poor.

With the 50% poor, I field this as a congruence-test, and I sit there 100% unreactive.

IE:

ME: I LIKE SALAD.
HER: WTF?
ME: I LIKE CAESAR SALAD.
HER: UMM, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?
ME: BUT I DON'T LIKE CRUTONS.
HER: UHHH, LOL, OKKKKKK...
ME: DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA HERE?
HER: LOL.. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

etc etc..


So if canned gets 100% great response, why use this as opposed to a canned opener?

Aside from the fact that you don't have every PU newbie in town using the same opener as you, it does certain things to your psychology.

1- It doesn't wire you to become a frame-control addict.
2- It teaches you how to be 100% unreactive.
3- It gets you away from button-pushing.
4- It cultivates confidence in what YOU have to say, and teaches you to draw others into YOUR standard instead of trying to live up to theirs.

This is all huge because of the habit that it cultivates. It's not that you COULDN'T learn these things using material. Theoretically you could.

Reality is another case, however. In reality, you'll probably wind up like 99% of people who learn from canned game -- a "response-junkie" or "reaction-seeker." Just like I was, as described in Neil's book -- and I'm supposedly a top student of that style of game (or not, depending on the mood of the guy's who are supposedly the judges of this).

That doesn't mean you won't get laid. I got laid plenty pushing girl's buttons. But these days I get less giggling and social attraction, and more of a deeper sexual attraction.

This is an obscure remark, but I believe that sexual attraction comes when the girl realizes that you are 100% beyond her ability to control, and if your state can't hold up in the luls of her responses you won't get sexual attraction.

By constantly needing to push for IOIs, your state comes to depend on the response you're getting. This is why SO MANY guys who learn it wind up saying things like "To beat the game, I had to leave it."

It's not the "game" that's the problem though. It's the TYPE of game that they're learning -- "Button pushing." Or even the fact that they're calling it "game" in the first place, which could be interpreted as messed up if you believe that the words you use are a reflection your deeper mentality.

And rather than finding a way to get around it, most guys just quit and rationalize that they're better off -- even though many of them don't get laid anymore and fall back into old habits.. *shrug*

That said, I still find HUGE value in what the guys who teach canned game have to say. Many of them have taught me a lot, and I have nothing but props for anyone who has the balls to teach this stuff live in the field.

Moreover, I believe that different guys learn better from different approaches. I don't necessarily believe in trying to push what worked for ME onto OTHER people. As this is my full time job, it's my obligation to calibrate to the needs of the guy I'm working with or suffer the consequences.

Hope that clears some things up.


Tyler

PART IV:

I haven't used that stuff in a long time, although I think it's all solid.

In the past I didn't think there was any real alternative, in the sense that as a newb -- having met EVERYONE -- there wasn't a single guy in the community who I thought was even half-decent in the field that didn't use material. There were always guys who were uncanned. Many of them very cool, personable guys. But they weren't what I was personally looking to emulate, in terms of their results.

Once Neil became serious about his book, however, I started looking for different ways of doing things. I did this for a number of reasons. The obvious one was that I was tired of being paranoid that my whole gameplan was going to become so common-place that it ceased to work.

But beyond that, I had this sort of feeling of lack -- like when I'd be hanging out with regular guys and I didn't have the same sort of status as I had with girls who's states I was pumping with material.

It took me about 2 years to get my "skills" to top level without a shred of material (ie: on the level of my old skills but 100% uncanned), and it was very difficult.

The exercise I started with was to challenge myself to not say a single thing that I didn't want to say. That means that unless *I* think it's funny, or *I* want to say it, I don't say it.

At first I'd go out and often have nothing to say. I'd approach the girl and just sit there, feeling all the canned lines going through my head -- my brain screaming "Cummon man! You can get this girl! Just spit your game on her!"

My buddies would be talking to the girls, and I'd just be sitting there saying nothing -- almost like an introvert. I eventually realized that this was partially a filter in my head, which was operating on the assumption that what I had to say wasn't good enough unless: 1) the girl was already in my frame because I'd hooked, or 2) it was a field-tested piece of material.

The way I operated before was to hook quickly with material, and then once I'd hooked I felt confident to "be myself." But without having hooked, I had an instinct that prevented me from doing that.

Over time I became able to hold conversations just by talking about my day. I could talk about my taxes or books I read and get the same "buying temperature" response as I did with my best routines.

I eventually realized that I was previously trying to react to THEIR standards, rather than DRAWING them into MINE.

This was a huge paradigm shift for me, because it eliminated any residual dancing-monkey aspects of my personality, and helped me to come across more masculine -- all of which gets me more SEXUAL attraction as opposed to a more social attraction that had to build up to become physical.

I still think all the other stuff is great. But the way I'm doing things now I'm much happier about. At this point I can NOW use routines, and have them work much, much better -- and without coming across reaction-seeking or dancing-monkey. But I had to go without for a long, long time in order to get to that point.

I'm not calling one approach better than the other. I'm simply talking about what I'm doing now, my path, what it took to get there, etc..

I think different people take better to different approaches, and at different points in their development. I'm not trying to push an ideology here. Just conveying my experiences.


Tyler

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TIM: The Return Of The Lord

the return of the LORD::

in a random mood after just pulling - ready for sleep but also want to type.

new word: Lording.

Sarge is dead. Because its a word for guys who go and TRY to pick up chicks - NOT guys that OFFER VALUE (like us!).
I no longer go out - i LORD over a club. LORDING is where pimps do their thing. There is no TRY in LORD, only DO. Its a GIVEN to fuck hot girls if you are LORDING a venue.

Ok so here is my recent lording adventures for those internet cats who love the girlys.

Preinfo: This close friend of mine is a non-escalator. I mean hes great with girls just doesnt escalate hence, choded out. I once had sex a girl at his house and didnt hang out with her - to which she stole and smashed all the stuff in his front yard thinking it was my house when I wouldnt call her - ANYWAY another time for that story.

So close friend has had some pretty cute orbiter girls on the go since I have returned. They need sex from somewhere, right?

The orbitfest saga begins>

Girl1: I head out to our usual big night. Lots of people I know in this big dance club...
I spy one of the orbiters lurking in the crowd. I hit her up. Open her with "I like salad"... then I start playing the KILLER plotline im doing right now of you and I used to date... heres how it goes...

At a highpoint...

chariot: "Hey remember when we used to date, like three years ago!?"
girl: "Ummm no - what?"
chariot: (playfully distressed) "Oh! What! I knew you would forget our special times together"
girl: "Hahaha - oh yeah, sure um I remember, ha"
chariot: "Good well... um you know how we never kept secrets... i have a secret I need to get off my chest"
girl: "Haha - ok... what is it hahah"

Then I basically tell them I cheated on them with all seven of her friends. To which they buckle over laughing - then I grab them and go "Shhhhh its ok, I know" all consoling and they love it. Try it. You have to be congruent though. Also needs to be when the girls LIKE you not think you are chode. Ive seen some disasters.

Anyway orbiter1 is full on the go - shes down. For sex. So what do I do? start chatting to other girls around me. She is sitting there taking it like a good little orbit girl. Then she starts trying to compete for attention when this old boss of mine when I used to work for behind a bar comes and flat out starts tounging me down hardcore - out of nowhere... grabbing me and saying how hot ive become and shit... ummm ok. Orbit1 is spun out...

Its time to get out of this rubbish going on... so I spy another cutie blonde and decide to hit her up... Classic story opinion opener, "what would your stripper name be", grab caveman style and say I think shes adorable. Cuteyblonde starts testing me saying "your a player blah blah". Good. Then I see it. Stalker style. Yep - this girl is gone. After ten minutes of pure game the girl is GONE. She starts CARESSING my hand LOVINGLY and giving me the LOVE EYES OF DESIRE. Oh fuck. I just want to enjoy my night and have fun... I feel it - A stalker case. Then it starts.

Cuteyblonde starts saying "OMG you picked me... you could have any girl here. Why did you want me? I want you. Dont leave me? Why are you looking over there? why do you talk to other girls? Dont you want me anymore? chariot?! Dont leave me!?

Damn! She is all over me. Which is ok - but i am DISGUSTED by the neediness of this girl. Now I know how hot girls feel around chodes.

I grab orbiter1 and tell her the stalker story - she suggests we go back to her house for a swim. Im down. We get in a cab and travel... and travel... and travel... where the hell is this place?!?! Turns out about and $90 cab ride from my house out in the middle of nowhere. She pays and we get out...

Its this Monster massive house.

tim: "Hey ahhh - who lives here?"
orbiter1: "Me, my mum, my dad and my brother"
tim: "Ohhh great"

We get in the pool im just in my boxers and she launches at me... were all hardcore in the pool when... noise... its MUM. Oh no. Out she comes - im trying to hide in shadows and stuff when i get the big introduction. Mum seems ok and all spaced out by the sleepiness. Im just worried about DAD.

SO we finish up in the pool and head to her room... quietly... where I do my thing. She passes out naked next to me I put clothes and stuff back on cos I dont want to be discovered by dad in the morning. I have trouble going to sleep cos im trying to plan quick escape routes.

three hours later: door opens. I pretend to be asleep but peek - its DAD. He looks around... then goes out - shutting the door behind him. SHIT! will he come back with a shotgun!?!? I wait five minutes, heart pounding and decide if hes not back by now hes ok. I wake orbiter up and tell her to take me home. Turns out we need to get DAD to take us to her car then she can drop me home... lovely

I get out of the room to which im welcomed by Mum, dad and Brother. Double great. They offer me breafast. Im cool. (i just want to get HOME...NOW...arrrgggh)
.... Im very nice to the Dad, we chat football and all that - i like him, he likes me.


Orbiter1 DONE.

2 nights later (tonight): I head out to same club - where Im greeted by psycho stalker girl again. Damn. I also meet Orbiter2 who is hotter... I get her number after I know she is down and eject with psycho stalker in tow. She will be next - wait for the report I Also got number closed by a girl I havent seen since I got back from the states... we are "hanging out" tomorrow her words.

So im back home. I just took psycho back to her house and phantomed her. She kept talking all love. I tell them simply one thing "I dont do girlfriends well right now... there are some wonderful guys out there who would be better than me at boyfriendy stuff" she seemed happy but there may be psycho backlash as soon as I see her again. Damn its fun lording over these clubs. I have chodes randomly introducing themselves to me... girls too... the door girls are all like "Heres the player guy again, who you pulling tonight!?" a bar girl who I will hit v soon grabbed my number tonight as well so im happy. Productive night... More adventures in chariots land of the lords to come.

Happy Lording. Abolish the sarge - LORD UP EVERYONE HERE


Tim

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TYLER: You Will Not Get Every Girl

Some thoughts here on the idea of "perfect" game messes with your head...

1-Nothing stops you from getting a connection or even making the girl very interested in you.

However, the simple fact is that NOT every girl is going to spread her legs for you and let you pump her brains out.

Some have very cool boyfriends that they simply won't cheat on. Some have more average boyfriends but are just super-loyal type girls. Some simply won't sleep with a guy unless he meets very specific criteria, because they have some kind of mental issues about it. Some have confidence issues and won't return your phonecalls because they're too nervous. Some are so utterly disorganized and flakey that they can't do simple things like return messages. Some give their numbers out to so many guys that they can't remember who is who, even if you stood out more than any guy she's ever met.

That's not to say I haven't gotten girls with boyfriends. MOST girls I've dated probably had boyfriends I didn't know existed, just for the fact that most attractive girls have a man.

I've also blown through many of the objections that I mentioned, including flakiness, lack of confidence, mental issues and everything else. I don't acknowledge this stuff in my mind. I play the game as if these things didn't exist, and you should do the same.

All that said though -- it doesn't matter if you're the most famous movie star in the world, the richest guy, or the guy with the best social skills. You're NOT going to get *every* single girl. Period.


2- I'm not saying that this is you, but in most cases when guys ask "what kind of success do the best guys get?" the frame it's coming from is:

-they never want to get rejected
-they want validation from every woman they talk to
-they want to become a dungeons & dragons style wizard-mage of pickup
-they have no standards for the type of woman they'd like to sleep with other than looks.

Once you've been with a number of hot girls you realize something: many hot girls are VERY unattractive. So unattractive that you have NO INTEREST. It's at this point that you develop STANDARDS and you become a 10X better pickup artist. It's at this point that the girls can feel you are NATURALLY SCREENING and will jump through your hoops to be with you more than you'd ever thought possible.

That said, what do most of the best pickup artists I know get in terms of results?

Most would go out, have an amazing night where pretty much everyone in the place thought they were awesome, have makeouts and get phone numbers, and usually extract.

Of the girls they extracted, some they slept with and some they didn't. Of the girls they called on the phone, some came out and some didn't. I am speaking for myself here? I guess I am. But I'm speaking for all the best guys I've gone out with, lived with, and winged with as well.

Overall it's KICK ASS. You have an abundance of women and friends in your life (which is cool when you're coming from a poverty/scarcity situation). Your life is just a hell of a lot of fun. Having these skills is awesome. Read the reviews that 90% of guys give when first seeing a real PUA in action, and you'll see that it's an eye-opening thing that most guys didn't realize could exist.

But are there guys having sex with *every* girl they approach? Definitely not.

3- As for the 545 challenge -- the idea that you approach 5 women and have sex with all 5 -- that goes under the category of what we call "Delusional confidence."

Guys who have delusional confidence are great to learn from because their psychology is PRIMED for picking up girls.

Their beliefs keep their state pumped up high. Their beliefs give them the confidence to approach anybody and everybody. Their beliefs allow them to act on IOIs and close the deal. So learn and respect guys who have delusional confidence -- at least the ones who are getting good results.

At the same time, when the idea of 100% perfect game is messing up your self-esteem because you feel like you're not getting the results you should be (which I've seen more and more of in my students this year) -- that's when it's time to wake up and be more realistic.

Use your own critical thinking and look past the marketing. This stuff is more than obvious.


Tyler

TIM: Sweden Is Fire

last night i got on the swedish love train in stockholm

OH MY GOD GUYS

this is like the perfect land for us. my eyes are the happiest they have ever been... highlights from last nights program

my student gets me into the hottest night in stockholm
(we are FIREEEEE by the way)

- I roll in and immediately notice the quality. AMAZING. Hot everywhere. TURBO HOT... true true wicked 9/10... the typical trophies
- The chodes are very good looking and dress better than ive seen any chodes but heres the deal: THEY ARE FULL FULL CHODE EXTREME. None of them understand escalation, dominance... they are full bitch
- Girls waving me over and approaching me all night...
- If I see a girl I like, I just grab and pull in. DONE
- I was making out and tossing them like it was a box of KFC
- Random chodes were approaching me saying "my friend over there really wants you to go talk to her" Id look over and it was some hot girl
- Chodes wanting to buy me drinks all night

heres where it gets interesting:

- When I pulled the girl I wanted with a student I had girls STALK ME ALL THE WAY TO THE CAR they tried to GIRL-MOG the girl I was with... she turns and says "that girl just said she was taking you home tonight"... they are all fighting in swedelanguage and im just laying back - students are GLOWING, and learning...

- We get in car (me and student)... and some random girl (hot as) comes and opens my fucking door and starts telling me a random story about some bullshit to try and get me to go with her, i say these exect words. "I am taken, but get in and come with us - you will hook up with my friend"

back to students place... we both hook up with the girls.
off to meet the guys now - its time to teach escalation deluxe...

THIS IS THE LOST LAND OF THE PICKUP ARTIST our HEAVEN
(given I have not been to riga...YET)

Oh btw

Im on this myspace thingy now. I get random girls searching me up now... i have no idea how they find me but I have 3 or 4 private emails from girls everyday. Been up for three days so havent converted any of it

...

your guys experiences in swede land of glory?

Tim

TODD: Keeping In Touch Long Distance

I'm a perfectionist. I hate letting girls get away just because they live far away from me. I want them all.

I used to just delete girls' numbers if they lived far away, figuring it wasn't worth the effort, but lately I've found an efficient way to improve my results both with these girls and with girls closer to home.

Call them every couple of weeks even if there's only a 1% chance that you'll ever see them again. Here's why:

1. Girls move. Especially to places like New York (Where I live). When they move into town they don't know anyone but me, so who are they going to call up to hang out on their first few lonely nights in town?

2. Girls travel. Same as above, but add that they're on vacation. As an added bonus they often have other cute friends on vacation with them so you can hook **** boys up.

3. Five minutes once every couple weeks is all it takes to keep a number completely fresh so the investment is minimal.

But most importantly:

Anyone who has taken time to seriously tackle phone game knows that 1. More time on the phone makes you MUCH better, and 2. last call is almost always better than first one on any given day. Kind of like doing a few warm up sets when you're at the club.

Soo... I consider my out of town girls phone practice girls. I call them up BEFORE any girls I actually care about, then I only call "real" girls up once I'm in an unstoppable state.

That way EVERY call goes well, and I find myself meeting up with a different girl basically any time I seriously sit down and do phone time.

You shouldn't NEED to be in state to call girls, but if you have the option available to you, it never hurts.


Todd

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TODD: Using Multiple Threads

Multiple threads are a staple of my early game...

Here's one overlooked point in making them work:

Cut threads at HIGH and LOW points.

If a topic isn't going anywhere, obviously cut it. But not so obviously, when something is going VERY well, sometimes cut the thread. IF you do this correctly you will have HER going back to your threads, saying things like, I'm very intrigued, tell me more about xyz, I really want to hear what you had to say etc.

This is useful for two reasons.

1. It makes them chase you.

2. It makes them ASK YOU to keep talking to them... meaning they must now view you as a source of value and a part of their group... as opposed to just the next guy of the night to come hit on them.

So briefly, IMO the purpose of multiple threads isn't to give YOU something to talk about, it's to give HER something to talk about.

Remember it's just as hard for HER to keep the conversation going as it is for you, so an outstanding PUA uses his expertise to make the experience easier and more natural for the girl.


Todd

TODD: Fallacy Of Perfect Game

Our conception of game has changed so much in the past 3 years. Who knows what will be possible in 10 more?! So I really don't think the question is that relevant... BUT I do have a point to make on the subject.

We all want different things out of game.

Some want a girlfriend. Some want many. Some want a series of one night stands. Some are in game as a 'game' just enjoying the process. One person's goals would be repugnant to another.

This difference is reflected in different peoples' games. Some people play more of a one-night-stand type of game where they'll bounce off more sets, but end up taking home the girl they hit who's really on. Some people play long-term relationship game and get #s and do day 2s. Some people's games are even designed in large part to make them the center of attention and validate them because that's emotionally relevant for them and gives them a 'high'.

There are basic elements that are the same in all of these game styles, but they are also distict.

Personally... something like 5 for 5 or 10 for 10 is irrelevant to me. I've been on some SICK hot streaks, and honestly in hindsight they were as much statistical anomilies as anything else... as is the occasional cold streak.

My personal goals revolve much more around sustaining several relationships at once in such a way that they actually CREATE time for my other projects. But my goals and anyone else's goals should be IRRELEVANT to YOU.

I ENCOURAGE EACH ONE OF YOU TO TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IT IS *YOU* WANT FROM THE GAME... not what will be validating, or look good on paper, but what actually makes you happy. And then structure your game for THAT end.

Todd

TODD: Short Definition Of Being Cool

Here's my personal definition for what it's worth.

A cool guy:

1. Has something to offer the world.

2. Knows how to share it.

3. Shares it without a hidden agenda (isn't creepy/sneeky/manipulative/scammer).

I would say anyone who does this is someone I would consider cool whether or not I personally care in any way for who they are or what they are offering.


Todd

TODD: Real Compliments And Disqualifiers

I use REAL disqualifiers. And I use REAL compliments. I genuinely get to know the girl and I genuinely tell her what I like and do not like.

HOWEVER: I DO change my decision on whether to disqualify or whether to compliment based on where the girl is at emotionally.

If she can take it, I qualify/disqualify a bit more because it creates sexual tension which heightens the emotional experience for both of us.

If she needs comfort (needs to feel safe/good about herself etc.) then I'm more likely to give her a compliment because in that case a compliment is what will create the best vibe and most positive experience for both of us.

For example I LOVE girls who play soccer...so if a girl said:

"I played soccer when I was younger but I quit in high school."

So to a hot girl I'd probably say:

"Wow... It's too bad you don't still play, I love girls I can just go kick around with."

Whereas with a less attractive/confident girl I'd probably say:

"That's awesome... I love soccer girls... girls I can just go to the park and kick around with"

In both cases I'm communicating my values and desires, and showing them how to "win me over" but with the hot girl I do it like I'm slightly disappointed she's not "perfect" so she can work for me whereas with the less hot/confident girl I do it in such a way as to make her feel as good about herself as possible.


Todd

TODD: Failing To Spark

It's almost impossible to pick out someone's specific sticking point from description alone, but if you are getting a good initial response here are some of the most common causes I've seen for staling the set later.

1. Not escalating... escalation can take many forms

escalating conversation topic
physical escalation
isolation
venue changes

any of these is fine but if NONE of these things happen then the set isn't going anywhere.


2. Talking too much.

If you talk 100% of the time... STACK... STACK... STACK... then you establish the precedent that YOU are TALKING and SHE is LISTENING. This is dangerous because she gets in the habit of not contributing. Relationships are built on EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT... if she can't invest in the interaction she has no investment in YOU.

IMO the goal of any good pick-up is to GET HER TALKING... ideally about things that either you or she is passionate about.


3. Becoming "Question Chode"

Statements and stories create value... they add new information and perspectives to the intereaction.

Questions often diminish value... often men ask questions as a way of leaning on the other person to provide the "value" in the conversation.

Questions also often communicate an agenda because they are asked for the wrong reasons.

Consider the typical chode who says "Soooo... what do you do?"

What he's really saying is,

"I have nothing interesting to say and there's no reason whatsoever for me to keep talking to you, but I want something from you (probably sex) therefore I will try to keep the conversation going anyway by making you do the work."

Is that attractive?


4. Not allowing/creating tension.

In order to get a set you MUST be willing to lose it. Tension is sexual energy just waiting to be released.

If there's an awkward pause... don't always be the one to fill it in. Don't tease a girl then get scared and back down or apologize. Offend girls once in a while. If you aren't getting girls OCCASIONALLY upset, you aren't triggering enough emotions in them. If you make a strong statemtent and she doesn't seem to agree... stick to it anyway. The disagreement is healthy for the intereaction... that tension is budding sexual energy.

These may/may not be your particular sticking point (can't say for sure without actually SEEING your game), but given your description these seem like likely causes.


Todd

TODD: Sexual Tension

SEXUAL TENSION = INTEREST + BARRIERS

Very simple. Show your intent, let her know you like her... but be a "hesitant buyer." Never let her have you completely. Always be completely willing to walk away.

Barriers are SO IMPORTANT because they allow a girl to act on her desires without feeling slutty. If she doesn't think she can have you (for whatever reason) it's okay for her to get turned on.

Physical escalation is ONE way to show intent. As is cutting space, eye contact, flirting (push pull) etc.

THE KEY:

She should NOT be SURE she has you... but she should have a vague feeling that she is in "imminent danger of being fucked."

THE CHALLENGE:

How do you convey intent without letting her know she has you?

The key is to be totally non-reactive... that is to show your intent while at the same time NOT CARING how she responds to it. You show intent because it's the "right" thing to do (because it's alpha and authoratative and proactive). NOT because you want to get her attracted to you... very Zen. No manipulative or creepy vibe.

Consider how different techniques achieve this end of interest + barrier.

PHYSICAL ESCALATION (if done properly):

Shows you're sexual but is not needy and does not carry with it an agenda. You're acting in a sexual way, but you are not necessarily committing to her... You may leave at any time, but for right now you're here and you make her feel sexual and good. You're also not asking for anything FROM her... just giving value.

Her rationalization: "I could stop at any time, I'll stop later for sure, but I won't stop yet because it feels really good."

PUSH/PULL:

Obviously... shows interest then takes it away. Push pull can be emotional, verbal, physical or contextual.

Her rationalization: "It's ok for me to act sexual because he's not TRYING to sleep with me... I'm not even 100% sure he likes me... I bet I can make him like me though"

Slowing down/going sexual:

Similar to going physical. Shows your sexuality, triggers emotions, shouldn't be needy or have an overt agenda. Still willing to walk away.

Her rationalization: See physical escalation.

So in one sentence: ESCALATE, BUT DO IT IN A WAY THAT LET'S HER PARTICIPATE WITHOUT FEELING SLUTTY; HENCE BARRIERS.

SIAM: Opening Strong

Get off the opener with a LOUD LEADING VOICE.

Loud, you understand. What I mean by a LEADING VOICE is no hesitation, no pause (not even for a millisecond) in your voice, just roll with it.

It's subtle, this doesnt mean that you should be talking at hyperspeed, it just means that you have to have momentum and energy. As Tyler says, opening is like PUNCHING THROUGH A WALL instead of punching at it.

As far as what to say goes, make observational comments about her or the environment very early on. These are STATEMENTS, not questions --- so fucking key. The wittier/funnier, the better.

Any interesting facial expressions? Where does she look she's from? Anything interesting that she's wearing? Jewelry? Tattoos? Anything unique you could tell about her personality right away? What's she up to, where's she going? Anything interesting that she's doing?

Don't stick to one thing in the beginning. Learn to interrupt yourself or her in order to bring in new interesting threads. But most importantly, it's all in the voice. You use your loud leading voice to direct the conversation this way.


Siam

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MIKE: Teasing Going Overboard

There is a fine line with teasing between being right on point with it and going a little overboard and getting those negative reactions.

Unfortunately, where that line lies is different for everyone. It has to do with how well your teases relate to your identity.

First of all, start with only using the teases that you feel most congruent with. Then play around with them in your sets. What will end up happening is that sometimes you won't push the tease far enough, and sometimes you'll push it overboard.

The key is realizing that it is okay for you to go overboard, as long as you LEARN from every situation in which that happens.

If your desire is to figure out your fine line on your own, you will need those experiences of coming up short as well as going too far to find that perfect medium.


Mike

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MIKE: Getting Stuck In Your Head

The reason someone is "stuck inside their head" is because they are seeking a solution, and they stay inside their head until they get an answer.

Well, as anyone who has been stuck inside their head but has found their way out can tell you, finding the answer is not what will get you out of your head.

The reason for this is often times because there isn't even a question. Only once you realize there is no question can you realize that there is no answer, and only then can you come out of your head.


Mike

MIKE: Escalating Too Quickly

If you don't want the set to escalate that quickly, then don't allow it to.

Remember you have full control in regards to how your sets run. You shouldn't have closed space so quickly and sparked that level of tension yet.

Bear in mind that all those quick escalation maneuvers I taught you over your bootcamp are intended to pull a girl within a 3 to 10 minute timeframe after having met her in the club. If you try and drag it out longer than that, you run the risk of having what happened to you occurring every time.

All you need to do is slow down in set and you'll be fine. It's funny that when people experience the sudden success that you've been recently having in terms of quick makeouts and quick lays, you start to think that's all you know how to do.

You have an arsenal of tools--the quick escalation tactics are only a part of them. For good reason, your focus has been on quick one night stands and not much else. Now I'm willing to bet it's not that you don't know how to run longer sets, it's that you haven't paid much attention to them.


Mike

MIKE: Pulling From Clubs

These types of situations are easy as long as you hold FULL control, and that's where most guys make the mistake.

However, if you have full control, frame the pull as an issue of scarcity. If she feels that this is one-time experience, the thrill and excitement of leaving with you will trump any feeling of anti-slut defense and what her friends may think.

It comes down to how you set the frame in your own mind. Remember it is YOUR frame.

So you view telling the girl "this is your only chance" as something that comes across as needy because you're using that to persuade her. So you're right, if YOU were to say that, it would be needy.

However, if I say that, it would NEVER be needy. Because my frame actually carries the belief that this is her only chance. I know that if I tell her that, it's because if shit doesn't go down right now, she's done.

And that is precisely why anytime I'm in this situation, shit WILL go down. Every time.


Mike

MIKE: Don't Be A Chode

There are so many guys who act like straight chodes -- afraid to attempt anything for fear of rejection.

Sure you got a few rejections and bad responses, but I'm sure your overall responses were great.

For those of you who live in constant fear of rejection, equate it to this: he got 3 one-night stands for every time he got slapped. Who wouldn't take that deal?!?!?!?!?!?

Something to think about.


Mike

Nov 20, 2006

Jeffy: Religion And Dating

There was a post on the forum today: "Additionally, the concept of sex before marriage is highly frowned upon."

By whom? I'm assuming this means by YOU yourself, even though you don't say it. You may not even realize it.

If the idea of "promiscuous sex" is something totally against your value system, then you're not doing yourself any favors by attempting to have it. It will only cause you grief.

Don't get into this stuff because you THINK you should, or because the media says you gotta be a pimp or whatever. Get into it because you WANT to and in a way that is not at odds with your core values.

I'm celibate for non-religious reasons. Nonetheless, I don't consider makeouts and blowjobs "sex," so there's still fun to be had! Huzzah!

Also, ALReturnsLMAO said:

"For religious reasons I don't plan on banging alot of girls, but the game goes beyond that. Its about improving your life and giving you more confidence."

This is true, and in reality I'd take it even further: game is about being a positive force, about improving OTHERS' lives and giving THEM more confidence.

*I* have confidence and value to spare, so I take this **** to the next level and pass it around. This is what "giving value" is all about.

Really, that's the only thing I'm consciously thinking when going into set these days. "Give value." Well, that and "None of this matters."

This frame of giving value, even if that means you don't get laid, is the key to inner game mastery. Done correctly it sets off a chain reaction that gets your inner game spiraling upwards off the charts.

In many ways, your abstinence is a blessing because it removes the pressure. There is no outcome dependence, so you're free to express yourself congruently and in an unreactive way.


Jeffy

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JEFFY: Once Upon A Time

Once Upon a Time, there was a boy named jlaix. He kept in shape and went to the gym, because he thought it would help him get girls. It didn't.

Then he found pick up, and realized that looks don't matter. He got pretty fat, with a double chin and tits. Yet still, he picked up splendid hotties and made sweet love to them down by the fire.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize that, while he was able to score hot chicks, deep down he felt that he was of lower value than them. This crept into his relationships and inevitably eroded them. Additionally, his game was very state-dependent.

Then he went to Spain and met the magical talking ox, named Ozzie. Ozzie the Ox helped him by forcing him to go to the gym, and by knocking his cocktails to the floor ("HEY! WTF ARE YOU DOING?!!"). In return, jlaix taught him a thing or two himself.

When jlaix finally returned to America, he had ripped ****ing abs. Now, he would get instant monkey love attraction from most 7s. But the most striking thing was that he now felt inside that he was a 10. And not because of the outward appearance, but because of his health and vitality. He lived happily ever after.

******

In other words, the thing about working out or whatever is finally KNOWING, not thinking, that my "game" is a 10. Before with the poor health I felt I was a 7 value guy that cheated his way to chicks out of his league with trickery, now I know my value is 10. Like, a 10 would no longer dismiss me outright on looks, and if you saw me on the street with a ten, it wouldn't look abnormal.


Jeffy

JEFFY: Sexual State Redux

So I'm on a goddamn roll these past few weeks. Bang bang bang. Every day I'm banging, usually multiple women. The overall effect of this has oddly enough been to make me MORE horny. I walk around in a perpetual state of arousal, I will fuck anything that catches my eye. I feel like a fucking SHARK with a boner.

Girls can pick up on this. Add a professional level of smoothness, game and value and all doors are opened for you. Life becomes a smorgasbord of women, for you to pleasure and enjoy. I love all of these women, I am a rake, I give them incredible emotional and physical highs, and I am completely honest with them about my behavior. But I'm getting off track here.

Thing is, I frequently see guys running great textbook game, but there is no passion behind it and consequently they get nowhere. It's like they are so caught up in the technical aspects of gaming that they lose sight of the end goal... THE PUSSY. The hot, kissing, licking, fucking, banging, etc.

This is what we are in the game for, gentlemen. NOT to get some chicks giggling at your awesome C&F lines.

Many men today are totally pussified. Choded out. They are ashamed of their desires. Heaven forbid a woman thinks you want to fuck! Many guys deal with this by going overboard with "active disinterest," taking it to the point of asexuality.

Can you say, "Platonic Friend Zone?" I knew you could!

Last night, I'm sitting at the bar and a VERY cute chick with glasses sits next to me. I casually turn and say, "Hey... do you like douchebags? I am one. Will you be my friend?"

She says, "No. Are you going to buy me a drink?"

I reply, "Nah... maybe if you make out with me."

She goes, "No way!"

I shrug, totally unreactive, and say with a smile, "That's fair. Blah blah blah" and roll into standard game.

Thirty minutes later, I am engaged with hyper focus, my face close to hers. We're in our own little game bubble, and I am suddenly and powerfully gripped with the desire to manhandle and fuck this girl until she screams in ecstacy. My eyes tell her this. She understands. I pull her in by the waist gently but strong and start hardcore makeout. She is breathing heavily. I pull away.

Her friends come to take her home, but before she leaves she number closes me. This shit is on for sure yadadamean... this how we do yo.

Take a look at your own game. Are you being sexual enough? If not, make a conscious effort to MAN UP. This game is NOT as complicated as many make it out to be. Remember that women are, in my experience, HORNY AS FUCK. All these pussychodes running around make them extremely frustrated, they just want to get bent over, as Tim always says. But there are also a lot of horndogs out there with no game. Be the best of both worlds. Get your game tight, but remember: there comes a time to forget the lines and the bullshit and just go CAVEMAN.

My general attitude is, "I'll fuck you RIGHT NOW girl, just say the word and strap in for the ride of your life. If not, no big deal, I don't care. It's totally fine and we'll still be friends. But know this... I ain't no muthafukkin joke."

Man, I gotta go fuck RIGHT NOW. My shit is getting chafed.

Anyways, hope this inspires you guys. Go get em!

Jeffy

SIAM: Adventures In The T.O.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

I'm out and about on Eaton Centre shopping for hair gel, toothpaste, lotion and alll that cuz customs jacked all of my liquid products at the airport, I forgot they were still doing that, never did have a good experience with Canadian customs, but thats a different story - right, Todd?? lol. So I'm walking around and this redhead that suddenly walks past me catches my eye.... solid 8, slim waist, beautiful face, nice body from the back too - Siam likes. Let's call her "Redhead"

Siam: "Excuse me... I was just on my way to the store, but I just had to stop and talk to you, you are absolutely adorable. My name's Siam, and you are...?

Redhead: I'm "Redhead"....

Then just found out what she was up to, told her what I was up to, teased her, busted on her --- all playful and fun, and without hesitation. I don't remember what I said off the opener or most of the stuff that I said in that approach, just random spontaneous observations.

She teases me back for being American, wonderful. Great vibe going between us, so I take her by the hand and walk around the mall a bit. I could keep working this by taking her to a coffeeshop and then back to my hotel which is only a couple of blocks away, but I've got bootcamp in two hours. We exchange numbers, and I set plans for hanging out Sunday night so that she could be my new Canadian tour guide [ALWAYS make sure she's got your name and # saved in her phone as well so that she'll know to pick up when you call, and fuck e-mail closes, they are for the chodiest of chodes; and as soon as you get the #, don't just run away, game them up just a bit more].

I tell her that I'm surprised from the past 15min of talking to her because she's different than most Toronto girls I meet and I thought she'd be the same.... but she's more down-to-earth and solid, I dig it.

Off to to hang out with my bootcamp stud who's tearing up the streets of Missaussaga....


SUNDAY

I call her around 1pm, she doesn't pick up, I leave a standard voicemail: "hey redhead, this is siam from the eaton centre... just wondering what you are up to... give me a ring at 555-5555, bye". I spend the next 5 hours on bootcamp teaching my student daygame while also shopping for a new wardrobe.

It's soon 6pm.... I tell my boy his final mission and he does some damage for the next 20 minutes while I sit back and watch.... fuck, I want a day2 tonight before I catch my 1am busride back to the states.... I call Redhead again. She picks up, and says she just got my voicemail, and just got out of the shower, and is wearing pajamas.

Some stuff I do remember saying on the phone:

- you know, you've got a sexy phone voice.... if nothing ever works out for you in xyz profession, you'd make for the hottest 1-900 number....

- cool, we'll hang out tonight.... but I just met you at eaton centre, I dunno about you crazy Toronto women... for all I know you might tell me to meet you in some shady dark alley and be some serial murderer/maneater or something... or worse yet, you'll have me go back to your place to "check out your stamp collection", spend the night, and I'll wake up the next morning.... alone..... with no kidneys..

- you know what I'm gonna do to you? i'm gonna pour honey all over you.... and then.... shut you inside of a bee cage

- great, see you at 8 at xyz bar, just be sure to wear something cute, so that we match

Done deal. Bootcamp ended an hour later, I'm proud of my students stellar performance, alls well, but I am tired as fuck - but whatever, gotta close Redhead and then pass out on the busride back. We meet up at some Irish pub that's near her place [always make sure it's somewhere near your place or her place, so its easy to bringem back]. She comes in... she looks better than yesterday... nice.

We get some beers and sit at some corner booth. Rapport while also keeping up the playful sexual banter and kino..... favorite music/bands, places travelled, funny childhood stories, craziest dreams, our passions, deep talk about attraction/connection. I tell her to show me around the neighborhood, we head out, and walk up the street.... apparently on the way back to her place. And this walk is like a fucking kilometer.... whatever, I've got a good buzz from the Guinness and I'm having fun w/ her.

I tease her about random places we walk past.... a video store.... that's where she must rent all of her porno.... a children's clinic.... so thats why she's into younger guys... a church... thats where she goes for 5hr long confessions after all the bad things she does every week.... another video store... but only to rent more porno again and continue her bad habits, I love catholic school girls.

We finally reach her apt, but she's giving me the whole "I've got a lot of work tomorrow morning" and is standing outside her door trying to chode me out. Well fuck that.

I reply, "Exactly. I can't stay that long, you've got work tomorrow morning and I've got a busride to catch in a couple of hours, we'll just hang out for a bit, but I really can't stay long" while taking her hand and walking towards the door. We go up to her apt, go inside, she shows me around, introduces me to her cats. I sit on the sofa, while she uses the bathroom. Shes comes back, sits next to me, we make out, clothes off.... and all the rest, business as usual.

And then I pass out on the busride on my way back to the States, only to get harrassed by the customs again 5 in the morning.... gotta love this job

SIAM: Think Longterm

- Don't get straddled by short-term pains/losses -- you got brusshed off by that girl at the bar, you weren't feeling ON like you usually do, you had a bad night -- who gives a fuck... keep trucking on.... keep your eyes on the prize in the longrun.

For every bad set or bad night out, count that down as one less bad set or one less bad night that you will have to go through to become great at this; this reframes every shortcomming as a success. Don't be desperate for quick results, it will show in your approaches.

- Keep a journal. I recommend "The Journal", by David RM - it's a journal on your computer, very convenient. Always set short, intermediate, and longterm goals - this goes for things outside of pickup as well. Then have a regimen designed to help you achieve these longterm goals. You'll be surprised as to how much you'll get done with your life when you're this disciplined and organized.

- Focus and work on the "means" as a way to achieve your ends, instead of chasing after the end-goal. Simply put, focus on developing your game.... and not on getting laid. Do this and ironically you will get laid A LOT.

- Expect to shed loads off your learning curve by reading new books/material or taking a superconference/bootcamp instantly, but realize that the REAL RESULTS... the FULL TRANSFORMATION will be 2-3 years later, 1 year later, or even 4-6 months later. I say this to my students all the time.

It's one thing to read, understand, conceptualize, and even see (as in seeing someone else do live demonstrations) a technique/method/theory, but quite another to INTERNALIZE it into yourself, to completely soak it into your subconscious.

This requires habitual repition and time, eventually it will become part of you, you'll be natural. Until then you'll have some glimpses and awesome moments of being fully pimped out, but as you get better and better you'll have more and more of these moments, and eventually they will actually become part of your lifestyle, your identity.

- To put things in perspective, a "natural" who's say.... 28 years old... has been getting laid since he was around 15-17 years old. That's more than 10 YEARS of being good with women. If you expect to have that same skillset in a matter of a year, 2 years, or even 6 months - depending on where you're at right now - it's def doable, but just realize that you're condensing a lot of experience and you're trying to absorb a lot of habits in short amount of time, this requires for continuous training.

Point is that though, it wont take as long as 10yrs to get that same skill as it did with most "naturals" b/c you have so many resources here and you're very focused and conscious of developing this part of your life as opposed to other guys who don't know about this stuff and who have just passively developed it - but it will still take some significant time. Hang in there, enjoy the ride.

- Sure you want results NOW, but don't take it so hard on yourself. Lets take something simple...like the first time you learned how to drive a car. You made some mistakes while learning to drive, but afterwards were you thinking "!$^%@ Damn, my life sux. I fucking hate myself. I'm never gonna learn how to drive a car. I suck. My life's ruined. This reminds of the time when I was in 7th grade and.... etc etc". No, you weren't. Instead you just completely assumed that you were eventually going to get a driver's license right from the getgo. Right before you even started to drive a car you KNEW that you were going to eventually accomplish this very simple task.

Why not have this same mentality for learning pickup? Treat it as a hobby. Trust me, the whole clenching your teeth, cramming it in, and forcing it will not help you in this area like it might with other stuff - say working out, academia, career/work, etc - because this is social development. HAVING FUN and having an optimistic learning attitude is what will get you fast results.

- After every interaction, after every night out, ask yourself: "What did I do well? What I could have done better?" --- the wording is important here, it's positive. Always appreciate the small successes and keep taking baby steps.

And I think I heard this quote below from Alex one time, our London guy:

"Change your thoughts to change your actions. Change your actions to change your habits. Change your habits to change your character. Change your character and you change your destiny."


Siam

JEFFY: Text Message Fun

I text a combo of boring innocuous comments, ridiculous over-the-top compliments, and vaguely sexual teases.

"My car needs more duct tape"

"you are a stunning angel princess."

"come over, bring me a taco and give me a massage... dork"

Jeffy

TYLER: Being Cool VS Technique

Here is a synopsis of my current views on the topic of success with women.

Becoming good with women is basically a combination of two things:

1) Being a cool guy -- IE: WHAT GETS YOU ATTRACTION.

2) Opening conversations with strangers, hooking their attention, moving venues with them, isolating, and escalating -- IE: WHAT GETS YOU INTO THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

That's pretty much it.

Number two is the easy part. I can teach that to you in an evening out. Seriously -- eight year olds could be taught this stuff.

The hard part is number one. Becoming a cool guy. That's the part that actually makes girls ATTRACTED to you, not just engaged or entertained.

Now for a long time I've really promoted the technical aspects that are involved in number two, in the sense that I've disagreed with the guys who claim that it's *ALL* inner game and NOTHING ELSE.

Why have I taken that position?

Because what does a "guru" do when he has no real life experience with women to offer up in his course on how to get laid? He recycles a bunch of inner game stuff he got out of books and seminars (self-help, spiritual, NLP, or wherever else), twists the ideas to accomodate pickup, and takes the position of "it's ALL inner game!"

Beyond that, technique is important because there are plenty of cool guys with GREAT inner game, but who just don't know how to approach a stranger and push for escalation without being weird.

These days, though, I feel differently about the climate of our community. What's happened since ****'s book is that our community has moved in an extreme direction where people actually think that it's TECHNIQUE that gets them ATTRACTION.

Unlike most of the gurus, I still teach my own workshops as often as possible to stay in touch with the clientelle. You guys know me -- I'm meticulous to the point of being neurotic.. hence taking so long on the book, the specific website, the low ration on bootcamps, etc etc.. I have a specific way I want things done and I won't have it any other way.

So having stayed in touch with the workshops as much as possible, I've learned a lot about what clients are thinking. And what are most of them coming into workshop thinking? "I need to learn technique to get ATTRACTION."

The problem -- girls don't become attracted to you as a result of technique. You can use technique to disrupt their reality and to hook attention, but you will not build ATTRACTION with it. If you aren't a cool guy, as soon as you stop pushing the girl's buttons she will walk off. Period.

If you're a guy who can open any girl, get her giggling, but usually loses her as soon as the entertainment runs out -- THIS MEANS YOU.

Being a cool guy is what gets you attraction. What is being a cool guy? It's not complicated. Think back to high school, and the kids who were popular. Now don't glorify them -- most weren't getting laid all that much because they didn't know how to make it happen. But they WERE getting attraction from girls, which is the aspect that you can learn from.

So what do you study to become a cool guy? It's not complicated. All the stuff we talk about here -- having a strong reality, not caring what people think about you, having your own sense of humour, making people earn your validation, being able to vibe with people, etc etc..

Beyond that, it's about looking OUTSIDE for rolemodels on being an attractive person. Not just to a pickup guru, or even a "super dominant guy" -- but guys who are vibrant and positive and offer value to their environment without ever coming across like they're losing their power in the process. There are all sorts of guys out there like that, and you need to be paying attention to them. Not copying them, but just thinking about the place that they're coming from.

This doensn't come easy. Why?

Because if you're NOT a guy who has that stuff, IT TAKES TIME.

Everything we teach -- deep identity level change, authenticity, positivity -- it's all geared to moving you towards that end.

And ultimately, both "being cool" and "technique" are cultivated in the same way -- by going out.

So they're both important.


Tyler

MIKE: Awkward Approach Situations

We run into situations everyday in which we allow potential approaches to pass us up because the logistics aren't perfectly placed for us to be in position to succeed....

These situations ALL COME DOWN TO THE ATTITUDE. If you hit the set with the frame of mind along the lines of "this is cumbersome/disrespectful/ridiculous" then it'll turn out that way every time. The way you act will show that it is ridiculous.

You may do things like excuse yourself or apologize for interrupting her--these are things you would NOT do if you didn't harbor the opinion that what you were doing is bad.

For example, suppose a girl is in on the stairmaster in the gym with her headphones on. Here is how I hit this type of set: EXACTLY LIKE ANY OTHER SET.

I would approach her, and likely would tap her because she can't hear me with her headphones on. Her natural response would be to take off her headphones to see what I want. I would proceed with the opener, and take it from there.

There's one caveat that enables me to run successful sets like this. I'm not afraid of the initial part of this interaction turning out awkward. I fully expect there to be some level of awkwardness in situations like this.

Most people would anticipate a situation like this as being awkward, and therefore they are apprehensive about putting themselves into these sort of situations.

Whenever I face situations like this that involve an awkward approach, I think to myself...

Will she think this is awkward? Yes.

Will this awkwardness cause her to feel nervous and maybe a bit intimidated? Yes.

Is her being in a position of awkwardness and/or nervousness a situation I can capitalize on? YES. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Mike

OZZIE: Fun In The Pool

“You dont need proof when you have instinct” (Reservoir dogs).

“Spices!!!” (Hernando, salsa guru)

Yeah, baby. This place is fire. Today my voice was back and you know what that means: I can break a bitch in 2 with my voice projection. All my game was there: voice, bl, funny stuff. I was firing with all my guns baby.

The night before I had a hard case of blue balls(a girl from Chicago hooked up with me and we got it on the whole night and we did everything but penetration inside the club, to finally give me a no go at the end of the night, friends dragged her away), to what my roomy tim (chariot) started to sing to me “blue balls, blue balls” the whole day.

Funny stuff. It was true, that bitch gave me a hard on that lasted the whole day. I said to myself that I will make it up today.

So we went out and we got into Koolclub in Santorini Island, Greece. Probably the best venue for pu here. According to td comparable to Sky bar, big circular outdoor bar with seats and dance floor, inside and outside. People are dancing on the stairs, on tables, everywhere, pretty crazy. Super hot women everywhere under the Mediterranean moon. Is this heaven for pu or what? I never smell getting laid in the air more than here.

Anyway, my state, my voice is there. I am having fun. My hotel is 5 minutes away. Perfecto. That´s tight. mad props to my man Ray for organizing this trip. “the man who knows” as we say.

Anyway, I start doing a couple of sets prior to enter koolclub. I did 2 hot Australians outside but we separated as we get in. I asked R where they went. It looked on. We cant find them. Forget that. I can not be distracted.

I also have the girl (blue ball) from last night coming over to join, plus a couple of Scottish girls I gamed at the pool. We have a bunch of girls coming over but whatever. I am game tonight plus my state is unstoppable because we are having so much fun out here and everybody is in such a good mood, etc, it is like I grew a couple of inches or my dick got bigger. Lol. I am riding the excitement of all this.

I open a huge mix set for me to get in state. I opened with my “sophisticated” new opener “are you Italians?”. Girls are unreactive. Wow. Let´s show this people what I can do.

I take the guys of the group by storm and owned them and 2 minutes later they are all highfiving me and wanting me to stay(learn to game the guys). I got the guys so the girls follow. They start sucking my kneecaps. Beautiful. Poetry in motion.

I bounce and keep opening. Nothing can stop me now. I am powering through. I open a 3 set by the bar. it turns out they are a mother and 2 underage daughters. But they are hot as all glory. They cant barely speak English. Good. I bounce.

My third set. The lay.

I see a mixed set by the bar. 2 girls and a guy. I opened the guy and tool his *** so bad that he is sucking my dick in less than 5 minutes. Nobody, nobody is higher energy than me.

I own the guy and the 2 girls follow. I start gaming one of them and the other starts to butt in but her English is poor so the other girl has to translate at times. she wants me.

I start slowly getting into rapport with all of them. 10 minutes into the set. I take the girls by storm. Guy is choded out and decides to leave but he will be back. He likes me.

It turns out that both girls are sisters and the one that I was gaming is 31 and it is the older sister. The girl that I will eventually get is the youngest of the 2. she is 28. cool. Her English is poor and I have to repeat shit all the time. It creates a great dynamic where she starts teaching me words and shit and pronounciation.

Anyway I cut the space and we start touching each other. At the same time I maintain her sister occupied with conversation. If I am to pull this girl, I must win the sister over. I make sure I give her sister more attention than hers.

I start teaching her salsa moves. Etc. kino starts to shoot up. She starts touching me and know I am leaning into her open legs and on to her bar stool. I am basically between her legs. Lol.

I bring some of the rsd guys in the set and they take turns occupying the sister for a while but they leave. They want to game other sets and get laid too.. Fair enough. I got to pull this shit off myself. That I can do. I tell the guys that it is on, that I am pulling this girl. they bounce. in retrospect I wasn’t even sure of what I was saying. I guess it was instinct.

Then the set busts right open. I start talking of how I had a girlfriend for 3 days a greek girlfriend in Mikonos but she freaked out when I said I wanted 10 kids(true story). They start laughing and my girl tells her sister something in greek.

Ozzie: I heard that.
Sister: what
Ozzie: translate
Sister: no. you don’t want to know this.
Ozzie: I do. Spit it out.
Sister: well, she wants to marry you(she says it quickly so her sister doesn’t hear)

They both start laughing and play it as a joke.

Ding, ding, ding. We are going for the long ride.

Right now I am between her legs leaning back in the chair, etc. we continue talking like nothing happened. Then I turn my head back and look at her in the eyes, triangular gazing, tongue down.

I was surprised by this tonguedown. Her sister is right in front of us and we start abnoxious make out session. 20 minutes into the set I am making out. Not bad. Solid.

Ozzie: stop.
Girl: wtf?
Ozzie: I cant go on. Do you understand?
Girl: yes.
Ozzie: lets do it again.

More make out. It's on.

I break make outs in this fashion and continue talking to the sister and winning her over. She is the key to my lay.

We dance, make out more. I do couple of take aways by opening adjacent groups and run a bit of jealousy plot lines, etc. everytime I amp up her bt even more. Make outs get nastier and nastier. Rsd crew takes pics of me, laughing, having a good time, etc.

I still have to deal with the sister. She can go either way.. I bring an english chode into the set and tell him the sister is horny but be patient. Guy starts flipping out of his mind and starts buying us tequilas(I don’t drink) and beers and starts hugging me and giving me his phone number like a little girl. he is a total chode. Love your work, man. That´s how strong my state is.

I start extraction tactics. I find out that it is 5 am and my plain leaves at 7. I have less than hour to close the deal. You better get a move on or you will get a hard case of blue balls again.

So,
Ozzie: how far is your hotel
Girl: 10 min by car(no go)
Ozzie: can your sister drive alone back.
Girl: yes.
Ozzie: tell your sister we are going for food.
Girl. it is ok. We don’t need to lie.

Yes. It's.

English chode is still entertaining sister. After a short discussion in greek with her sister, we leave hand in hand. All the way to the hotel, I am keeping her state up by talking about the stars and the full moon and all that. Overkill.

We walk back and we go through the back of the hotel and I stop at the swimming pool. I tell her to wait there because I need the key. I go to my room and it is occupied. Grrrr...

Clock is ticking and I only have 30 minutes before I get on the car to the airport. I grab 2 towels. Desperate solutions for desperation.

Ozzie: let´s go in the pool, skinny dipping.
Girl: wtf.
Ozzie: no, the water is warm and I feel hot.
Girl: I don’t know.

I make her undress and I can see her perky breasts flopping. Whoa. We both undress. We jump in the water and I push her against the wall and pull my dick and she goes “protection, please”. I run to my pants that are out on the pool chairs and grab my only remaining condom. Life saver.

We hooked up under water and I finish. Best ever. There are some guys watching from the windows of the hotel and another guy far down the cafeteria. Glad to give you guys a show. Tightest pussy underwater ever. Finished in no time despite the uncomfortable condom underwater stuff.

We dry out and go to my room where everybody is packed and ready. I have to pack fast and jump on the car to the airport. She stayed in the room to sleep while I left. Lol.

Pointers.

1. opening mixed sets puts me in state big time.
2. approaching mixed sets is key. If you can tool the guy you get the girls.
3. this greek thing is fire.
4. defenetely koolclub in santorini is the best venue so far
5. logistics(5 min from the club) are so damn key.
6. mad props for improvising on the fly the skinny dipping lay.
7. she doesn’t need to speak your language that well. Only enough to communicate the essentials.
8. so bad I had to leave. That girl had potential. Tightest pussy I have had so far here. She should fly out and meet me in Barcelona when I am in town.

Greece, rolling, rolling, rolling…

Ozzie

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OZZIE: Greece Is Fire

By requests from the board i am posting another report from the Infamous RSD tour de force of Glory of the Greek Islands.

The boys rocked the islands. No question. Roberrrrtaaaa!!!!)

“oh, baby when you dance like that you make a woman go mad ....shakira, shakira.,”

I told you to hide your women. This shit is for real.

In my first night out in Greece, I just pulled. Simple.

Well, inspired by my roommate, Tim, who hooked up with an Italian model on the beach last night on Paradise Beach, I went out. Actually my voice was totally gone from travelling from Sydney etc.. But I said what the heck am I going to do in my room. It is time for body language game. I couldn’t make myself heard so I would just go out and try hook up with girls, just using my killer body.. ;)

We are getting ready to go out in our scooters to Venice beach and I grab one of the cute greek girls at the reception and tell her to tag along. She changes in 5 minutes and jumps on my bike(that was fast!), which makes me think about a lot of things. About how cows marched in the slaughter house guided by the Judas Cow. The judas cow never gets slaughtered. (the way i set it up was i talked to her for 5 mins in the morning and kino her and told her to go out and party with us. that was a long shots. longshots go a long way at times.)

Well she jumps in my scooter. Cool stuff. She is wearing a green dress she has to pull up to get on the scooter so her pussy is crashed on my ass all the way to Venice Beach. She is 25, nice slim tanned body. She is half Italian, half greek, etc.

We get there and the place is PARTY with a big capital P. Getting laid is on the air. Cool.

We hang back for a while because some of the bars are not full yet. I kick back on the tables right next to the see. Mediterranean night, full moon, stars, beautiful bay, small restaurants packed with people, etc. it is like being in heaven on earth. This is the closes thing to paradise, plus I have nice chick with me.

We kick back on the pillows and I cant even talk. My voice is partially or totally gone. And I think to myself, “well, this is gonna be a dance floor deal”. Meaning getting her on the dance floor, kissing and pulling her back to the scooter(scooter extraction, lol.).

I try to talk to her but it is a no go. My voice is not there. So I make an effort and we get into wide rapport, talking about different topics and she starts shooting iois like a madman.
Girl: how old are you
Ozzie: 52
Girl: nooooo
Ozzie: you are too young for me.
Girl: noooo

Yeah, baby. She wants me.

We hang back. I am totally unreactive there. Vegetable like. I am pretending I am just chilling around. When we get on the dance floor, she would not know what hit her. ox storm is gonna catcher and sweep her off her feet. I am gonna pump her so bad she is gonna freak. This thing is crazy.

I lay back and play nice, chill guy while she shoots ioi, after ioi..i play all her iois back at her.

Congruence testing.
Girl: I don’t mind if you go with another girl.
Ozzie: don’t worry, I will bring you both home.

I do a couple of take aways. i leave her there and go to the bar next door and start grinding girls there and keep myself in state. When I go back to her she is sitting there. Ready to go.

I just lay back till we hit the dance floor.

So it is 1am. Time to hit it.

I just jump out of my seat. We go to and adjacent bar and we get on the dance floor. Wow, baby, party time. I am gonna pump the shit out of her tonight.

We get on the dance floor and I throw my super high state out there. I grind adjacent girls, come back to her, back and forth. Everytime I come back to her she is in higher state and wants me more.

We start serious grabass grinding. Everytime it gets heated up I pull back and push her away. In and out. Just as I like it.

She is all over me and push her back. She is totally helpless in half an hour. She offers to buy drinks and makes me promise not go away with the other blond. Scandinavian girl that is just there waiting for me to grind her and eventually hook up. she buys drinks and we start getting it on big time. I dodge her kclose attempt. Wow, baby. I am acting like a girl. beautiful. Like my bud jlaix says “I am becoming a chick”.

I eventually kiss her. Tongue down. I break make outs first. I always break them first. She keeps chasing. She is chasing mad. She is doing all kinds of shit to get me now. She puts hand on the ass. Grinds me from behind, starts doing crazy greek dance shit. Loving it. she is chasing.

Time to pull, boys and girls..

Ozzie: lets go.
Girl: where.
Ozzie: don’t worry.
Girl: where
Ozzie: next door.

I go to the place and we dance for a while.

Ozzie: let´s go.
Girl: where.
Ozzie: don’t worry.

I pull her from the pubs area. It is a long walk to the bikes. Forget that.

We sit on the stone wall, our feet dangling down, next to the see. She starts riding me. I fingered her. She starts swearing in greek. Music to my ears.

I hook up for a while. People pass by but we don’t care.

She kneels and starts doing her thing. Guy passes by. Whoa!

Ozzie: let´s go back to the hotel.
Girl: are there any people in your room.
Ozzie: no they are all in Paradise Beach(banging girls on the beach..

We go home and I have to kick my room mate out. Sorry about that. It is not customary in Greece to hook up in your room. It is easier on the beach.

Well, we hooked up, did out thing... nice tight body. I made her talk in greek before I would we'd do it. I made her beg for it in greek. Cool stuff. We hook up and she talks to me in greek the whole time.

Next, she sucks. She swallows. Oh, damn!

Girl: I never do this.
Ozzie: yeah baby, I know, neither do I. it just happened.

Pointers.

1. totally unreactive frame.
2. pump girl in the dance floor and close the deal there.
3. be chill at the beginning, make her comfortable…then go for the kill.
4. pull hard, pull firm, pull on the high.
5. make her talk to you in her language when you hook up.

Ozzie

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OZZIE: How To Open

INTRO:

Guys always ask me “how long you have been doing this” and i go “ for over 3 years” and they go “uhmmm”…in their heads they are doing the math of how long will it take them to get to from where they are where i am, where ever that is in their mind.

Funny thing is that they don’t know where they are in the game. So their calculation is always wrong. Most guys that I meet in bootcamps are way better than they think they are, but they just don’t know it

Thing is that except for a few exceptions, I was in the lowest place of the food chain than most guys mentally. I used to be a very negative person and it took me a while to learn how to think properly in the game.

It took me a while to get there mentally. It took me months to learn what our clients learn in one weekend of field work. Most guys have more tools and advance so much faster today than 2 years ago.


OPENING:

Most guys want the pickup line that will start the conversation 100 percent of the time. They want the magic line that will get them to being sweaty with a girl in the shortest amount of time.

While great conversation openers are very good and effective, the magic pill lies inside of you. Actually you can open by doing ape sounds if you want as long as you are coming from the right place mentally.

So how do you open?

I used to collect openers and field test them all the time. It felt that I was looking for “the one”. Not such a thing as the magic line that will open girls and give me sex all the time. Nice thought.

With time I discover that I had to take care of the person who was saying the opener, not the opener itself. That person being me, of course, my head, my thoughts, etc. that was more important.why? because while I was delivering those different openers, there was something that never change. The opener will change but there was always something that never change: good old me. I was the one making the opener work, I was the one who made it shiny. In other words in my search for the perfect opener I was forgetting “the one” the made it all work: me.

So what does this mean in terms of game?

It was more important “how” I delievered the opener than “what” I delivered. That figures, in communication a good 90 percent is nonverbal and only a fraction is actually “the content”.

So I started to work on “me”. Rather than on the content.

I started asking myself “weird” and empowering questions like. “why am I in the game?” “why am I doing this?” “what do I want from this game?”. The answers were astonishing and transformed my life and my game. They gave me a sense of purpose. All of a sudden I realized that I wanted to have fun, to have a good time, to have cool girls around me, cool people to hang. Then, my opening game started to change. I was more fun, more warm, more in the moment. All my sets would open.


BEING WARM:

Some guys look at girls like the “enemy” to be conquered and destroyed. They devise all kinds of sophisticated stories, backhanded compliments, canned comebacks. They play “the jerk” persona and try to manipulate the girl into thinking they are the tribe leaders without actually having any personality at all to back it up. They are just faking it. They think this is a game where they “must” win and as a consequence somebody(girl) “must” lose. So if they win they are on top of the wave, if they lose they feel miserable.

Well, that´s one way to look at it. i was there for a long time. But I realized that it was not helping me at all. So I changed. I realized that women were incredible and they made my life better. I started thinking more about the girl and less about the vagina. I started going for the girl and not for what was between her legs. So I started opening with a warm smile and great energy. Like I had something to offer to them. Something unique.

All of a sudden I was opening without opening. No more magic lines. Sometimes a simple “hi” with a warm smile, other times “I am having so much fun, I love it here” with a warm smile, “hey guys, i love being in London/New York/Vegas/Sydney etc..everybody is being so friendly”…I started to open with my new found confidence that I had something to share to people, something to give and who wouldn’t want to be around me with that kind of attitude…

I started getting responses along the lines of “we want to hang with you”, “take us somewhere”, “we will show you the town”, “I love your energy, it is so good to be around you”, “where can we go together”…isn’t that a shortcut to any woman´s bed? You bet.

So to wrap up this concept I would say that if you want to really excel at opening start thinking along the lines of giving rather than taking. Why are you opening in the first place? Are you opening to get the sex or the girl? Are you opening to take value from them or to offer them value? What is it that you have that would make people be around you and attracted to you?

I just answer those empowering questions and started thinking in terms of giving rather than taking. That´s how my opening game was transformed into a real, powerful fun endeavour that I love to do.

cheers,

Ozzie

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TIM: The Claw! (of destiny)

Ok so your about to talk to that girl... you better remember to...

BRING OUT THE CLAW OF DESTINY !

That means grab her (the claw has to be seen in its true form for real appreciation of the technique, firmness and majesty)... and claw her into you in the FIRST 2 MINS ! If you cannot claw in the first two mins you are NOT approaching right.

The claw must be done with 100 % belief. There is no CLAW without 100 % belief... The claw ALWAYS gets the girl.

THE CLAWWWW

the claw is a new method that im teaching in my bootcamps now. The true origins are kept sacred to the recent Amsterdam boys and I be sure to mention them whenever I introduce this new technique.

I just finished up with a student in Sweden and he got taught the CLAW !

In one instance he clawed the girl in and her friend was trying to throw the claw off. It got thrown a couple of times then GREW STRONGER IN ITS MAJESTIC BEAUTY! The claw prevailed in pulling the girl right away from her friend till she gave up !

We then spontaneously burst into the song of the claw:

"The claw always WINS!
the claw always WINS!
have no fear just
CLAW THEM IN!!!"

Please accept this song and chant it in prayer when lording over the club !

So much glory

OZZIE: 30 Minutes Start To Finish

We are doing some sets around Fellini(hipster kind of venue in Ramblas, Barcelona). I am warm after I have done a couple of good sets which included a hot girl from Belgium and a DJ who was with her and I tooled him pretty hard. I am pretty hardcore warmed up. Jlaix and me are looking for a 2 set to pull. So we are burning all the 2 sets we can find.

Suddenly he points a 3 set.

No hesitation I walk up and ope. It turned out that 2 are american and one French. Jlaix takes the 2 americans aside and I get isolation with the French. She tells me how she speaks Spanish so I continue in Spanish. Cool.

I immediately give a statement of intent and hug her.
Ox: I love you’re your energy. Come here(hug)
She: ha, ha, I love yours too.

We are in heavy traffic near the bar and I pulled her back to the wall and I am holding her by the hips and talking to her. we talk about having fun and I laugh all the time and and hug her. I number close and tell her we can have fun next week together.


She: ok, do you want a shot?
Ox: cool. Go get it.

Jlaix comes to me because his girls are ordering drinks too... i tell him she wants to hook up. My instinct at this point. Of course I am not sure at this point. Ok, jlaix tells me to pull alone. Cool. he is staying with the other 2 girls.

She comes back and we toast and she drinks the shot while I toss mine on the floor. I don’t drink that. We start talking commonalities. I always go “me too”. And she is upping the kino gradually.

She tells me she is there with a male friend and that the other 2 girls she had just met. Cool. she is alone with a chode friend. This is way too easy.

We go into rapport and for some reason she tells me her mother is very ill. I tell her that I feel for her. we hug. I tell her that I have a friend at work(true story) who survived cancer. She was french too.

It is all happening very quickly cause I did like a 10 minute convo and she went for the drinks and now she is back and we are aproximatly 20 minutes all together and I want to strike when the iron is hot. I say I am leaving I have a plain to catch tomorrow(true btw). We start saying good bye and I kiss close her. I kiss her again and again until it becomes a tongue down.

Very good.

I start making her really hot by tonguing down and massaging her.
Her: look I am only human. You are making me horny and I will want to **** you.
Ozzie: ok. Let´s get out of here.
Her: no, I am with a friend.
Ozzie: I don’t care. Let´s get out here.
(Firm holding her hand and started walking to the door).
Her: no, I cant.
Ozzie: wtf. Go tell your friend.
Her: ok. Let me find him.

She starts talking to some guy and I go immediately and introduce myself and start a conversation. Critical moment. I befriend this guy immediately. Cool.

I take her away from the guy after getting my jacket.

Cool.

On the way home I pumped her up by talking about google earth and all the things I am doing in Barcelona. I make her comfortable by pointing where my gym is, my grocerie store, my laundry shop etc. it pays so much to live near the clubs. It is a 5 minute walk and we are at home. I open some wine, watch “ocean´s 12” in my bedroom and we cant watch more than the first scene. We are hooking up like crazy. My fastest pull ever.

Nuts in bed. I pounded her, got a blow job and came on her face. My usual stuff. 2 new girls in 5 days, not bad. I am starting my cult here and in London.

Time from meet to extraction: 30 minutes and a few seconds…

Pointers.

1. keep the hope alive. Keep opening those sets until you strike gold.
2. strike when the iron is hot. Pull at the right timing.
3. when pulling grab her by the hand and pull her away firmly and resolute.
4. I am so *ON*. Flying.

Ozzie

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TYLER: Where will YOU be in thirty days??

An old mentor of mine used to post threads about where we are, and more importantly, where we're going.

Crystal clear goals are absolutely mandatory. They point your internal compass in the right direction. Seriously -- they are the CORE of this.

It's not enough for this forum to be about guys sitting around mentally masturbating about improvement. Those are just the FANS. The CHODEYS.

This is about having VISION and LIVING it. This forum is about DEEP IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE.

Look at Speedy -- he's taking on a 30 day challenge. We know where he'll be in a month from now. Where will YOU be?? Choding off?? Or will you have made MASSIVE IMPROVEMENT?

You've also got guys like Jeffy, Tim, and Ozzie who have made MAJOR MAJOR improvements on their bodies -- go to www.myspace.com/realsocialdynamics to check out the shape that Jeffy is now in. Tim and Ozzie, you need to get your pics up too!

This forum is ultimately a TOOL to build an ENERGY together and FEED off of eachother's inspiration.

Where will YOU be in thirty days from now??

That means "O.P.A." -- Outcome. Purpose. Action.

What is the OUTCOME? A girlfriend? A day 2? A same night extraction? A threesome? What's the SPECIFIC goal?

What is the PURPOSE? To build social skills? To build self esteem? To bend over the girl of your dreams and give her the pounding of her life? How will all this make you feel? What will this do to move your life forward, and help you and all those around you?

What is the ACTION PLAN? Do you go out 30 days straight like Speedy? Do you budget out a period of time to work on this? What's the SPECIFIC action-plan that you're going to take.

I want ideas. I want CONCRETE COMMITMENT. Even you guys who normally scoff at this stuff --> I know it's dorky but indulge me here. This is ultimately about YOU.

30 days. Outcome. Purpose. Action. Let's do this.


Tyler

TIM: Mission Lizzard

Report for duty, men.

I have a mission for you all...

Tomorrow - you are to go out and approach a random girl with this opener:

"Hey I think lizzards are the coolest! - what do you think?"

there are millions of ways this can turn into a discussion.

this is ALL I WANT. NO GAME. JUST LIZZARDS AND REPORT BACK.

LIZZARD UP MEN !


I await your response. There is a prize and a purpose.

Tim

PS. MAKE IT FUN and PLAYFUL

TYLER: Being The Party VS Worming Into Theri Party

To me this is the KEY distinction in all your approaches.

Being the party is a fundamental aspect of "OFFERING VALUE".

If you analyze ALL your interactions with girls through that lens, you'll see that being the party is like being a MAGNET whereas trying to get into their party is like being a REPELLENT.

Next time you go out try analyzing everything you did through that simple lense of "Was I trying to get into THEIR party, or was *I* the party?"

It will pretty much all make sense.


Tyler

TYLER: Groupie Style

Here's a quick nugget for you guys to play with --> Doing it "groupie style".

Once you've got a girl FULLY HOOKED, lay the challenge down (non-verbally) for her to work to get into your group.. Many girls love this sort of stuff because it's a game to them.

Keep making her work to get into your party. Draw boundaries on her, like "Karen, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!?! You said you'd be cool!! Keep it ON THE LEVEL Karen!! Baby you know we love you.. We love you Karen.. Look at me Karen.. We love you.. You love us right? Baby, you're sweet, but WHAT'S UP WITH THIS?! Baby I don't know if I can trust you.. You're on our team right? I feel like, on one level it's like you're on our team... But on another level, maybe you're doing blah blah blah..........."

All classic push/pull type stuff. Keep the party going in YOUR group. That means keep the convo going so that she's trying to follow it and she's getting invested in it.

At the end of the night it's like "LET'S GO..WE'RE GOING!!" and it's off to your house for whatever you want to do.


Tyler

TIM: Comfort In Set

Hey guys,

I wanted to share some thoughts I had a while ago...

I notice even the slightest shifts in my game... its all a process and shifts can take weeks or months. but its good to be aware of them.

when i consistently started hooking and attracting extremely early, i realised that ultimately i was supremely comfortable in set.

like when im rolling up to girls - there are some thought processes that never really occur anymore, but they used to. My mind used to be swirling with things to say, how i was going to approach... like a movie in my head i would watch the set go down before it did... and it rarely happened as the movie preview predicted.

so as i started gaining more and more field experience, i started not being outcome dependant AT ALL... like ZERO. I would roll in and ASSUME ALWAYS that it was on.

doing things like
- Yelling "Hey!!!!... ok welcome back" at the girls if they werent focused
- Pulling them back physically if they are about to leave (on a positive vibe)
- Looking at girls as if they are RETARTED if they arent listening to me
- Any bull**** thrown at me is treated exactly how i would treat a 5 year old
- Blatantly telling girls i love them and want them to have my children and we
have a special connection in a cocky way that they play along with
- Cavemanning girls away from their friends smoothly enough for the friends not
to interfere.
- Telling them DUMB stories about my first kiss in elementary school and making
them listen because its entertaining me
- Totally ****ing with them and they know it
- Any negativity from the girl DISARMED as smooth as silk with total non
reactiveness

like the best cocktail, its the right mix of CHARACTER (style, conversational skill and uniqueness), PRESENCE (tonality, body language) and POSITIVITY (fun) that gets the best results.

always be conscious of what you are PROJECTING... what do you sub communicate as a person?... what are the most high value people projecting?

how to mix the best cocktail...

here is an excersise i do with my students at RSD:

think of the most RETARTED, SILLY thing to say to a girl (not anything sexual or disgusting)...
for example: "My dad has three green cats and one pink one"

walk up to a girl and spit your retarded line as an opener then just sit there
- totally unreactive.

if she runs away - you DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT MIX
if she looks super weirded out - you DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT MIX

however

if she asks what? huh? say that again? or laughs - your good, congratulations - you project high value

NOW this also teaches us that the game is not VOCAL based... its what you are projecting that matters.

I used to want the BEST lines to say, the best stories, the best routines...
but i wasnt focusing on what i was projecting...

thats why this whole INDIRECT vs DIRECT opening thing is bull****. They both work, in different logistical contexts... for example id rather stop a moving street set with an opinion opener rather than "HEY, My names Tim"

Having said that, hey my names tim has worked for me countless times because im projecting the right things... in my tonality, my presence, my unreactiveness - i honestly do not care.

Last weekend a student asked Tyler to teach him good body language... he said "Heres
good body language... NOT WEIRD..."

So to ultimately be comfortable in set

1. You should have no thoughts in your head as you roll up. None. Like just think about an opener and thats IT
2. Be conscious of what you are projecting - do retarded line exercise until you are consistently hooking girls right off that opener
3. Think about the right mix of Character, Presence and Positivity that suits and attracts you
4. You are NEVER REACTIVE. A girl says "I HATE YOU" - you say "Have you ever eaten a lemon?"

good luck - and always have fun playing. I am

Tim

TYLER: Going Out VS Working On Your Life

Inner game is good because when you have it, you can approach girls and get identical attraction as "running game" without having to run game... IE: When you're "in state" you can drop all material and just walk up to the girl with "hey what's up" and she will be attracted.

The tricky part, however, is that many guys get caught up in this ideal and refuse to run game or even to leave their houses. They're more preoccupied with not having their reality challenged or with not being a "try-hard" who approaches than they are with getting laid. They may even believe that getting laid isn't important, or at least, not important enough to dedicate a large amount of time to it.

I don't judge that. In fact, I've spent quite a lot of time in the last two years NOT going out. It balances me out.

At the same time, I think it's appropriate for guys who are in that phase to be tolerant towards guys who DO want to go out and work on their skills -- if you're going to be spending an hour a day writing posts saying "going out is for poo-ah robots" you'd might as well be spending that time actually going out.

The counter-argument is that "When I stopped focusing so much on pickup I actually started getting laid more" which I believe is absolutely true. Becoming more balanced helps to refine the subtle, almost indescribable aspect of human interaction. It makes you a more complete person -- as getting girls is something that will elude you if you chase after it too directly, and something that happens automatically when you become a better person.

However, I also believe that the habits internalized from going out a lot have to be internalized FIRST before they can be "smoothed out" by creating more balance in your life.

IMO, for a guy who previously lacked social skills but installed many new behaviours and beliefs to become really good, going out 2-3 times a week for a few hours is appropriate as a "maintenance". 2 times one week, 3 times another, or whatever.. Even if it's with friends, and you meet some people while you're there.

In my experience when I've gone below that I fall into old habits. I hold onto all my confidence (actually I get even more confident because my life is going better), but I lose my playfulness and social edge.

Remember, the *RSD* concept of "outer game" is based on things like leading interactions, being funny, not tripping over the girl's social conditioning, etc etc.. So when I say "game" I don't necessarily mean what other people do when they use the word.

Anyway, point being -- as for the debate between inner game and outer game... make continual progress in both areas.

My 2c, anyway.


Tyler

Nov 9, 2006

TYLER: The Descent Into Madness

The self-improvement process basically works on the following premises:

1- Aligning your internal compass directly to where you want to go (as opposed to where you *don't* want to go).

2- Activating your "reticular activation system" so that all the people, books, distinctions, and resources you previously never saw become apparent.

3- Building a new belief system, and using the "pymalion effect" of self-fulfilling prophecies to your advantage.

It's a field-tested process, which pretty much does the trick every time. I mean it -- I really believe that I can accomplish just about anything just by sticking to the playbook.

There's a downside though -- the "descent into madness" factor.

One of the things that Neil talks about in his book is essentially the descent into madness that goes on when somebody cares about nothing other than transforming themselves.

His outlook is that it's a bad thing -- you lose control over your thoughts, important aspects of your life fall by the wayside, and every waking moment is devoted to the contemplation and cultivation of a new identity.

Take myself as an example:

BEFORE SELF HELP:
-Living in a small town in Canada
-No hope of a future
-Thinking I would die alone, possibly in jail
-Scrawny, underweight, weighing 120 pounds

NOW:
-World travelled, living in an apartment in Hawaii overlooking the ocean (I throw a penny out of my window, and it lands in sand)
-The future is limitless, with anything less than stellar being a disappointment
-Unlimited options in women, and I will probably die doing some risky activity or visiting an impoverished country
-Built, body healthy, improving every day

Has my life been balanced? Not in the slightest.

It's funny to sit in your apartment over looking the ocean, with your girlfriend bent over getting pounded, looking at yourself in the mirror -- thinking "I must have done a few things right to be in this situation."

It's funny to be travelling in exotic countries, flying over mountains, or driving through the hills on a motor bike -- thinking "I'm seeing this country that my ancestors come from, but I've had to fly half way across the world to get here."

It's funny to rub shoulders with people you grew up listening to in your CD player or watching on TV -- thinking "Wasn't I just watching you on youtube last week?".

It's funny to be on a bed with two girls groping you and fighting over you -- thinking "I LEARNED THIS SHIT OFF THE INTERNET?!?!"

More than anything, it's funny and SCARY to realize that you're the best at something (even though you're not all that good), and that if you want advice the only place you're going to be able to turn for it is inwards.

Could I have gotten here with balance? It's hard to say. I don't see a lot of people who did. All the best guys say the same thing: "Don't become obsessed like I did." And yet, all the best guys were at one point obsessed. Was it that becoming UNCONSCIOUSLY competent was their final step in development, or could it be that their obsession was unnecessary and that with better guidance they could have achieved the same thing from the get-go?

My mind -- it's on overdrive the entire time. I don't think most of you guys would enjoy spending five minutes in my head. It often feels like an out of control machine that I'm struggling to harness. I look at guys who don't have my level of responsibility and I'm envious -- they don't have to work as hard as I do to feel an equal level of satisfaction.

Sometimes I think that self-help is a virus that's entered my mind and is doing more harm than good. Other times I think I'm one lucky mofo to live in a world where it's down to such a science -- and not to be sitting back in a small town, married, working labour jobs in the snow like all my friends.

It's a blessing and a curse.


Tyler