SIAM: Think Longterm
- Don't get straddled by short-term pains/losses -- you got brusshed off by that girl at the bar, you weren't feeling ON like you usually do, you had a bad night -- who gives a fuck... keep trucking on.... keep your eyes on the prize in the longrun.
For every bad set or bad night out, count that down as one less bad set or one less bad night that you will have to go through to become great at this; this reframes every shortcomming as a success. Don't be desperate for quick results, it will show in your approaches.
- Keep a journal. I recommend "The Journal", by David RM - it's a journal on your computer, very convenient. Always set short, intermediate, and longterm goals - this goes for things outside of pickup as well. Then have a regimen designed to help you achieve these longterm goals. You'll be surprised as to how much you'll get done with your life when you're this disciplined and organized.
- Focus and work on the "means" as a way to achieve your ends, instead of chasing after the end-goal. Simply put, focus on developing your game.... and not on getting laid. Do this and ironically you will get laid A LOT.
- Expect to shed loads off your learning curve by reading new books/material or taking a superconference/bootcamp instantly, but realize that the REAL RESULTS... the FULL TRANSFORMATION will be 2-3 years later, 1 year later, or even 4-6 months later. I say this to my students all the time.
It's one thing to read, understand, conceptualize, and even see (as in seeing someone else do live demonstrations) a technique/method/theory, but quite another to INTERNALIZE it into yourself, to completely soak it into your subconscious.
This requires habitual repition and time, eventually it will become part of you, you'll be natural. Until then you'll have some glimpses and awesome moments of being fully pimped out, but as you get better and better you'll have more and more of these moments, and eventually they will actually become part of your lifestyle, your identity.
- To put things in perspective, a "natural" who's say.... 28 years old... has been getting laid since he was around 15-17 years old. That's more than 10 YEARS of being good with women. If you expect to have that same skillset in a matter of a year, 2 years, or even 6 months - depending on where you're at right now - it's def doable, but just realize that you're condensing a lot of experience and you're trying to absorb a lot of habits in short amount of time, this requires for continuous training.
Point is that though, it wont take as long as 10yrs to get that same skill as it did with most "naturals" b/c you have so many resources here and you're very focused and conscious of developing this part of your life as opposed to other guys who don't know about this stuff and who have just passively developed it - but it will still take some significant time. Hang in there, enjoy the ride.
- Sure you want results NOW, but don't take it so hard on yourself. Lets take something simple...like the first time you learned how to drive a car. You made some mistakes while learning to drive, but afterwards were you thinking "!$^%@ Damn, my life sux. I fucking hate myself. I'm never gonna learn how to drive a car. I suck. My life's ruined. This reminds of the time when I was in 7th grade and.... etc etc". No, you weren't. Instead you just completely assumed that you were eventually going to get a driver's license right from the getgo. Right before you even started to drive a car you KNEW that you were going to eventually accomplish this very simple task.
Why not have this same mentality for learning pickup? Treat it as a hobby. Trust me, the whole clenching your teeth, cramming it in, and forcing it will not help you in this area like it might with other stuff - say working out, academia, career/work, etc - because this is social development. HAVING FUN and having an optimistic learning attitude is what will get you fast results.
- After every interaction, after every night out, ask yourself: "What did I do well? What I could have done better?" --- the wording is important here, it's positive. Always appreciate the small successes and keep taking baby steps.
And I think I heard this quote below from Alex one time, our London guy:
"Change your thoughts to change your actions. Change your actions to change your habits. Change your habits to change your character. Change your character and you change your destiny."
Siam
For every bad set or bad night out, count that down as one less bad set or one less bad night that you will have to go through to become great at this; this reframes every shortcomming as a success. Don't be desperate for quick results, it will show in your approaches.
- Keep a journal. I recommend "The Journal", by David RM - it's a journal on your computer, very convenient. Always set short, intermediate, and longterm goals - this goes for things outside of pickup as well. Then have a regimen designed to help you achieve these longterm goals. You'll be surprised as to how much you'll get done with your life when you're this disciplined and organized.
- Focus and work on the "means" as a way to achieve your ends, instead of chasing after the end-goal. Simply put, focus on developing your game.... and not on getting laid. Do this and ironically you will get laid A LOT.
- Expect to shed loads off your learning curve by reading new books/material or taking a superconference/bootcamp instantly, but realize that the REAL RESULTS... the FULL TRANSFORMATION will be 2-3 years later, 1 year later, or even 4-6 months later. I say this to my students all the time.
It's one thing to read, understand, conceptualize, and even see (as in seeing someone else do live demonstrations) a technique/method/theory, but quite another to INTERNALIZE it into yourself, to completely soak it into your subconscious.
This requires habitual repition and time, eventually it will become part of you, you'll be natural. Until then you'll have some glimpses and awesome moments of being fully pimped out, but as you get better and better you'll have more and more of these moments, and eventually they will actually become part of your lifestyle, your identity.
- To put things in perspective, a "natural" who's say.... 28 years old... has been getting laid since he was around 15-17 years old. That's more than 10 YEARS of being good with women. If you expect to have that same skillset in a matter of a year, 2 years, or even 6 months - depending on where you're at right now - it's def doable, but just realize that you're condensing a lot of experience and you're trying to absorb a lot of habits in short amount of time, this requires for continuous training.
Point is that though, it wont take as long as 10yrs to get that same skill as it did with most "naturals" b/c you have so many resources here and you're very focused and conscious of developing this part of your life as opposed to other guys who don't know about this stuff and who have just passively developed it - but it will still take some significant time. Hang in there, enjoy the ride.
- Sure you want results NOW, but don't take it so hard on yourself. Lets take something simple...like the first time you learned how to drive a car. You made some mistakes while learning to drive, but afterwards were you thinking "!$^%@ Damn, my life sux. I fucking hate myself. I'm never gonna learn how to drive a car. I suck. My life's ruined. This reminds of the time when I was in 7th grade and.... etc etc". No, you weren't. Instead you just completely assumed that you were eventually going to get a driver's license right from the getgo. Right before you even started to drive a car you KNEW that you were going to eventually accomplish this very simple task.
Why not have this same mentality for learning pickup? Treat it as a hobby. Trust me, the whole clenching your teeth, cramming it in, and forcing it will not help you in this area like it might with other stuff - say working out, academia, career/work, etc - because this is social development. HAVING FUN and having an optimistic learning attitude is what will get you fast results.
- After every interaction, after every night out, ask yourself: "What did I do well? What I could have done better?" --- the wording is important here, it's positive. Always appreciate the small successes and keep taking baby steps.
And I think I heard this quote below from Alex one time, our London guy:
"Change your thoughts to change your actions. Change your actions to change your habits. Change your habits to change your character. Change your character and you change your destiny."
Siam
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