TYLER: Going Out VS Working On Your Life
Inner game is good because when you have it, you can approach girls and get identical attraction as "running game" without having to run game... IE: When you're "in state" you can drop all material and just walk up to the girl with "hey what's up" and she will be attracted.
The tricky part, however, is that many guys get caught up in this ideal and refuse to run game or even to leave their houses. They're more preoccupied with not having their reality challenged or with not being a "try-hard" who approaches than they are with getting laid. They may even believe that getting laid isn't important, or at least, not important enough to dedicate a large amount of time to it.
I don't judge that. In fact, I've spent quite a lot of time in the last two years NOT going out. It balances me out.
At the same time, I think it's appropriate for guys who are in that phase to be tolerant towards guys who DO want to go out and work on their skills -- if you're going to be spending an hour a day writing posts saying "going out is for poo-ah robots" you'd might as well be spending that time actually going out.
The counter-argument is that "When I stopped focusing so much on pickup I actually started getting laid more" which I believe is absolutely true. Becoming more balanced helps to refine the subtle, almost indescribable aspect of human interaction. It makes you a more complete person -- as getting girls is something that will elude you if you chase after it too directly, and something that happens automatically when you become a better person.
However, I also believe that the habits internalized from going out a lot have to be internalized FIRST before they can be "smoothed out" by creating more balance in your life.
IMO, for a guy who previously lacked social skills but installed many new behaviours and beliefs to become really good, going out 2-3 times a week for a few hours is appropriate as a "maintenance". 2 times one week, 3 times another, or whatever.. Even if it's with friends, and you meet some people while you're there.
In my experience when I've gone below that I fall into old habits. I hold onto all my confidence (actually I get even more confident because my life is going better), but I lose my playfulness and social edge.
Remember, the *RSD* concept of "outer game" is based on things like leading interactions, being funny, not tripping over the girl's social conditioning, etc etc.. So when I say "game" I don't necessarily mean what other people do when they use the word.
Anyway, point being -- as for the debate between inner game and outer game... make continual progress in both areas.
My 2c, anyway.
Tyler
The tricky part, however, is that many guys get caught up in this ideal and refuse to run game or even to leave their houses. They're more preoccupied with not having their reality challenged or with not being a "try-hard" who approaches than they are with getting laid. They may even believe that getting laid isn't important, or at least, not important enough to dedicate a large amount of time to it.
I don't judge that. In fact, I've spent quite a lot of time in the last two years NOT going out. It balances me out.
At the same time, I think it's appropriate for guys who are in that phase to be tolerant towards guys who DO want to go out and work on their skills -- if you're going to be spending an hour a day writing posts saying "going out is for poo-ah robots" you'd might as well be spending that time actually going out.
The counter-argument is that "When I stopped focusing so much on pickup I actually started getting laid more" which I believe is absolutely true. Becoming more balanced helps to refine the subtle, almost indescribable aspect of human interaction. It makes you a more complete person -- as getting girls is something that will elude you if you chase after it too directly, and something that happens automatically when you become a better person.
However, I also believe that the habits internalized from going out a lot have to be internalized FIRST before they can be "smoothed out" by creating more balance in your life.
IMO, for a guy who previously lacked social skills but installed many new behaviours and beliefs to become really good, going out 2-3 times a week for a few hours is appropriate as a "maintenance". 2 times one week, 3 times another, or whatever.. Even if it's with friends, and you meet some people while you're there.
In my experience when I've gone below that I fall into old habits. I hold onto all my confidence (actually I get even more confident because my life is going better), but I lose my playfulness and social edge.
Remember, the *RSD* concept of "outer game" is based on things like leading interactions, being funny, not tripping over the girl's social conditioning, etc etc.. So when I say "game" I don't necessarily mean what other people do when they use the word.
Anyway, point being -- as for the debate between inner game and outer game... make continual progress in both areas.
My 2c, anyway.
Tyler
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